I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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