do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
