Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
