dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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