after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize