I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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