Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
