so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
