I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
