I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
