Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
