My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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