i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
