dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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