I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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