Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
