she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
