I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
In other news, I just burned my penis
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
