if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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