He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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