I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize