I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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