look no pants
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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