this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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