Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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