I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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