Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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