I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
