Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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