No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize