he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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