that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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