so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Boobs speak an international language.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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