Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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