hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Duck Duck Cougar?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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