you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You need Xanax blowdarts
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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