three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
