Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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