maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
