God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
