so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize