i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
