I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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