i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize