there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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