your room smells of hookers.
And success
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
