Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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