omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
