We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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