it hurts more in the daytime
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
