Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
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It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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