pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize