you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize